Level 1 · simple request
Get a document: an annotated email example
Get the file in time.
The situation
Paul GrantColleague — Financial Control
You're presenting the year in review to the committee on Thursday afternoon. You need the "Budget 2025" file that Paul updated. You need it before noon on Thursday.
Helpful but scatterbrained. If a request has no deadline, he forgets it.
Goal
Get the file in time.
The winning structure
A good email for this situation includes these elements, in this order:
- A greeting with the recipient's first name.
- The file (Budget 2025)
- The deadline (Thursday noon)
- Why (the committee)
- A clear ask at the end: a question or an action with a deadline.
- A short sign-off, then your name.
Common mistakes
- Leaving out the file (Budget 2025) : « Which file? I have about ten. »
- Leaving out the deadline (Thursday noon) : « When do you need it by? »
- Leaving out why (the committee) : « What's it for? So I know which version to send. »
- Opening with padding ("I hope this email finds you well") instead of getting to the point.
- A vague subject line like "Question" or "Request".
Write your own version: the recipient reacts and you get a score out of 100.
The annotated example
Try it yourself first: you'll remember more. Click to show the example.
Subject : Budget 2025 file for Thursday's committee
Hi Paul,
- Greeting by first name: the reader knows it's for them.
I'm presenting the year in review to the committee on Thursday afternoon. Could you send me your latest "Budget 2025" file before noon on Thursday?
- Includes: the file (Budget 2025).
- Includes: the deadline (Thursday noon).
- Includes: why (the committee).
- Clear ask: the reader knows what to do.
Thanks,
Alex
- Short sign-off, then the name.
Why it works : 29 words against a target of 70, 6 words per sentence on average, no filler phrases.