Level 1 · simple request
Move the team meeting: an annotated email example
Tell the team about the change.
The situation
Your team8 people
This week, the weekly Monday 10am meeting moves to Tuesday 9:30am, in Room B. You want to know who's coming.
A team drowning in email: the change needs to jump off the screen.
Goal
Tell the team about the change.
The winning structure
A good email for this situation includes these elements, in this order:
- A greeting with the recipient's first name.
- The old slot (Monday)
- The new slot (Tuesday 9:30)
- The place (Room B)
- A request to confirm
- A clear ask at the end: a question or an action with a deadline.
- A short sign-off, then your name.
Common mistakes
- Leaving out the old slot (Monday) : « Wait, which meeting is moving? »
- Leaving out the new slot (Tuesday 9:30) : « So when is it now? »
- Leaving out the place (Room B) : « Where do we meet? »
- Leaving out a request to confirm : « Do they want a reply or not? »
- Opening with padding ("I hope this email finds you well") instead of getting to the point.
- A vague subject line like "Question" or "Request".
Write your own version: the recipient reacts and you get a score out of 100.
The annotated example
Try it yourself first: you'll remember more. Click to show the example.
Subject : Team meeting moved to Tuesday 9:30am
Hi all,
- Group greeting: right for a team.
This week, our Monday 10am meeting moves to Tuesday at 9:30am, in Room B.
- Includes: the old slot (Monday).
- Includes: the new slot (Tuesday 9:30).
- Includes: the place (Room B).
Please confirm you can attend by Monday noon.
- Includes: the old slot (Monday).
- Includes: a request to confirm.
- Clear ask: the reader knows what to do.
Thanks,
Alex
- Short sign-off, then the name.
Why it works : 26 words against a target of 55, 5 words per sentence on average, no filler phrases.