Level 1 · simple request
Ask for feedback: an annotated email example
Get targeted feedback in time.
The situation
Karim BennettYour manager
You're presenting to the client on Thursday. You're attaching your slides and would like Karim's view, mainly on the numbers and the conclusion. You need it by Wednesday.
Short on time; he prefers being told exactly what to look at.
Goal
Get targeted feedback in time.
The winning structure
A good email for this situation includes these elements, in this order:
- A greeting with the recipient's first name.
- The attached slides
- What to look at (numbers, conclusion)
- The deadline (Wednesday)
- A clear ask at the end: a question or an action with a deadline.
- A short sign-off, then your name.
Common mistakes
- Leaving out the attached slides : « Feedback… on what? »
- Leaving out what to look at (numbers, conclusion) : « Do I review everything? I don't have time. »
- Leaving out the deadline (Wednesday) : « By when? »
- Opening with padding ("I hope this email finds you well") instead of getting to the point.
- A vague subject line like "Question" or "Request".
Write your own version: the recipient reacts and you get a score out of 100.
The annotated example
Try it yourself first: you'll remember more. Click to show the example.
Subject : Thursday client slides: your feedback by Wednesday
Hi Karim,
- Greeting by first name: the reader knows it's for them.
Attached are my slides for Thursday's client presentation.
- Includes: the attached slides.
Could you take a look by Wednesday? I'd value your view on the numbers and the conclusion in particular.
- Includes: what to look at (numbers, conclusion).
- Includes: the deadline (Wednesday).
- Clear ask: the reader knows what to do.
Thanks,
Alex
- Short sign-off, then the name.
Why it works : 31 words against a target of 80, 5 words per sentence on average, no filler phrases.