Level 2 · follow-up or refusal
Decline a vendor's offer: an annotated email example
Decline his offer gracefully.
The situation
Ian PerrySales — Perry Print
After your tender for printing catalogues, you chose another vendor that was 15% cheaper. Ian's proposal was well put together.
He spent time on his proposal. He wants to understand so he can improve, and keep the door open.
Goal
Decline his offer gracefully.
The winning structure
A good email for this situation includes these elements, in this order:
- A greeting with the recipient's first name.
- A thank-you
- A clear decision
- The reason (price)
- A clear ask at the end: a question or an action with a deadline.
- A short sign-off, then your name.
Common mistakes
- Leaving out a thank-you : « Not a word for all the work? »
- Leaving out a clear decision : « So… that's a no, then? »
- Leaving out the reason (price) : « What made the difference? »
- A refusal or follow-up so polite it becomes vague: the reader doesn't know how to answer.
- Over-explaining instead of proposing a next step.
Write your own version: the recipient reacts and you get a score out of 100.
The annotated example
Try it yourself first: you'll remember more. Click to show the example.
Subject : Catalogue printing tender – our decision
Hi Ian,
- Greeting by first name: the reader knows it's for them.
Thank you for your proposal, which was very well put together.
- Includes: a thank-you.
We've decided to go with another vendor whose price was 15% lower, so we won't be moving forward this time.
- Includes: a clear decision.
- Includes: the reason (price).
May I reach out for future projects?
- Clear ask: the reader knows what to do.
Best regards,
Alex
- Short sign-off, then the name.
Why it works : 43 words against a target of 80, 7 words per sentence on average, no filler phrases.